You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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