New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize
