He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
