He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I got inside last night via doggy door
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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