wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
