I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
