i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
