How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
