oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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