I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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