i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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