Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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