your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
