What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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