The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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