All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
