Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
