ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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