Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
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