Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
