what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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