Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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