She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
