Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
