apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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