i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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