Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
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