I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
