It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
