Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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