My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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