i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
