I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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