does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
