Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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