Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
