I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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