Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Best friends brother. Beat that.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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