He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Randomize
