weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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