I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
