I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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