I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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