I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
