So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
