Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Randomize
