he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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