Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
