sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
