belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
