Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
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