found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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