we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
my sisters under your porch take her home
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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