Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
