im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I have post one night stand depression
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